Armistice, getting to know Mr Mau5, and sickened by greed at the Hut. 11/11/2010

I'm sure it's no surprise that today was Armistice day. I was quiet for the two minutes, I spent them thinking about war means to me and how privileged I am to have never taken part in a conflict. Whereas I do think conflict is something that humans will always take part in, it's not something I want to personally.
So what would make me go to war?
Hard to say really, threat of harm against my family, oppression of thought and expression. Those things I would fight against.

In other news, I was made aware of Ghosts N Stuff by Dead Mau5. I found the sound to be great and strangely nostalgic. Anything that sparks nostalgia for me is an instant addiction, so I am currently getting to know Mr Mau5 and his work. Much to the delight of my step Daughter, I might add.

Today I also spent some time with my wife, we decided to take sanctuary from the rain in Pizza Hut Beckton. It had been a while since I had been in Pizza Hut, (PH) so I was interested to see something on the table other than the menu. PH now add ten pence to your total bill and donate it to World Hunger Relief 2010. They will also match donations to the value of £20,000. I commented to my wife this was cool and wondered if we could donate more. We chatted some more and she commented that she wondered how many mean people would take the option of having the ten pence removed from the bill, you can do that if you really want to and donate nothing. I said that I was unsure hopefully not many, after all it was only ten pence.
After about five seconds of me saying that the table in front of us, commented loudly "they shouldn't add it, they get enough from everyone eating here. I'm not paying extra".

Now, myself and Kay are people watchers, I love to see how people behave and talk. It's a great place to form characters from, and so we listened to them. When their bill came, they sure enough asked the waitress to take the ten pence off and left her no tip at all.
I honestly felt insulted, I don't usually care about how other people conduct themselves but this really got to me. Before I make my next remarks let's be clear on a point. I am over weight, I have no idea how much I weigh but I am no food or slimming crusader.

This couple where huge, really really huge. The kind of big that gets you incapacity benefit and a free mobility car, I have opinions on this too but will stay on subject. I do not understand why ten pence was so bad, I was listening to them and it was not a budget issue but a moral choice. They chose to do nothing, in their world we should all only care about ourselves. This couple where a mess, dressed in new but very mismatched clothing and awful hair. It's hard to describe but I am sure most of you know someone that displays their inner darkness though an outer appearance. They where like that and I felt annoyed and insulted, as though because they where clearly English and close to my generation. That made them part of my "Tribe", a representation of all that is backward and selfish about this country.
Weird I know but there it is, Kay was equally disgusted and as we waited for our bill the table to the side of us (a mother and daughter clearly well off and well spoken) also where complaining about having ten pence added to their bill.

Are people honestly this selfish and blind? Does ten pence really make that much of a difference?
I donated and tipped the waitress as I always do and was still left with a sense of embarrassment at the actions of the others. Perhaps I have too high expectations of people in general?
What are you thoughts dear readers?

Sickness, Zombies and Ninjas 09/11/2010

I'm sick, got a heavy dose of the cold that is going around. I really don't feel all the bad and this is, in itself frustrating.
I had planned to get some scrap booking done, but I have a lingering headache that makes concentrating on tasks a struggle. I'm glad it's hit me during my week off work as I detest having time off work over illness, in fact I believe I have had one day off due to illness, ever.

Walking with the Dead, what can I say about this show? I knew it was coming on, I had read the hype about it and read a few reviews. In my honest opinion the pilot was masterfully executed. If you are a horror buff like me this show ticks all the right boxes and I dare say that even those who don't like horror all the much would be hard pressed to dislike it.
I won't go into a massively detailed review but I will say that the shooting, pacing and character development are perfect. I found the events and characters to be natural and not forced, there was a distinct lack of cliche used as all.
In short, check it out.

The new game I got for the PS3 is Naruto Shippuden ultimate ninja storm 2. A very long winded title for a great game. If you are a Naruto fan stop reading this and go to your nearest gaming store and buy it. No really, go now.
It's a solidly simple fighting game with all the characters from the show faithfully represented. I was considering doing a review but my pounding head is robbing my writing of any finesse.

I need a new creative project, there is an empty aching void that needs to be filled. I have no idea at this point what creative project could fill this void but Kay is going to help my explore what is on offer.

A bit rambling this post I realize but the Night nurse is kicking in, hopefully I'll have this cold beat in a few days.
Here is a vid of the Naruto ultimate ninja storm 2 game that is taking up allot of my time!

New poem 21/10/2010

I've been working on this poem for about a week now and finally have it finished, I will warn you it's alittle on the dark side. I wanted to mix the two extreams of romantic love and horror, I hope I have managed it.
I'll let you all deside.

True Love

I immerse my metal within you,

Sweaty guttural screams convey a sense of mortal purpose,

Sleek skin covers your throat,

Carved perfectly,

For my fingers alone,

Do you realize I had this knife,

Crafted,

For you?

Inscribed "love is the slice you leave behind",

For these moments you are the centre,

All sound and motion flow from you,

Face to face,

My eyelashes entwined with yours,

Your destiny beautifully realized in a single moment,

I inhale your last breath,

This is true love.

Buggy rage, dark poetry 16/10/2010

Well today has been a typical busy Saturday, I love work when it's busy and really jumping. The energy of the kitchen is really tangible and generates a kind of group focus.
The come down is hard though, my body relaxes and starts to ache. Normally this is not a problem but this evening I was in a BTA.

Rant on.

What's a BTA? A Buggy Traffic Accident, except this was no accident. Let's be perfectly clear here, as I cued up for the buss and patiently went to get on it. A young and moronic mother decided she was the most important creature on this planet, I was in her way.

So she proceeded to slam into the back of my feet while muttering how thoughtless I was, for how could I dare step onto a buss in front of her?
After all, I was only before her in the line and I did not have the one thing that must define her as a person, that one achievement in her life that makes her feel like a person.
A child.

My thoughts are these; Just because you managed to get a man to sleep with you (this is not difficult) and reproduce your DNA does not make you a higher being. Now I could start to rant about teenagers becoming parents before they know what being an adult even means but I realize that there are some great young parents and it's not my goal to bash you.

You can be in your late forties and be a crap parent. There is nothing more boring than someone that goes on and on about their child. Honestly we smile and nod but are bored beyond words.
Other people's children are boring, end of.
Sometimes our own are too...

Anyway, back on point. You have a buggy, don't hit me with it or I shall eat your precious child alive, right in front of you. Well perhaps not but self important buggy pushers, especially on buses are like poison to me.

Rant off.

On the poetry front I have been playing with some dark disturbing poems, it's not usually my style to dabble in morbid or dark poetry but what I am working on is looking good. I'll start posting them soon and see how people receive them.
Anyway better get some sleep, should be busy tomorrow.
Blessed be, sleep well.

Lazy three weeks, Final fantasy fail and Druid recognition 06/10/2010

So whats with not updating for weeks eh?
Simple really, I got really lazy. That and also I really have not done all that much over these three weeks, I was going to get a let's play done but my software is acting up and I am having big problems getting vids to record in HD.

I have however planned out my new PC build, I'm not going to buy a stock PC. I know how to put one together myself so doing so would save me allot of money. I'll have blog and Vlog updates when I start putting it together.

As you guys are aware I was pissed off last week that my computer couldn't run Final Fantasy XIV, well after watching Yogscast on the game I am glad I never got it. This looks like the most boring, badly scripted, horribly written game ever!
I recommend you heading over to the link and watching the vids, they make a boring game really really funny.

In other news my YouTube page is going to be updated with some let's plays and other stuff, possibly some poetry readings as well. For those of you that don't know what a "let's play" is, it's a recording of someone playing through a game with commentary. There will defiantly be World of Warcraft ones going up, with the release of cataclysm.

Also this week Druids have been recognised as a religion in the UK, this means the Druid organization will get tax breaks and all the other benefits of other recognised religious organizations. Honestly I don't care much about that aspect of it.
What does interest me is the reactions of some of the other faiths and what this means for other Pagan's in the UK.
I have looked around the web at reactions on some of the other faith's forums and I am reading allot of fear and anger. Honestly what does it matter what someone else believes in, do we not as humans have the right to make our own choice and be respected for it? By this I mean that what we believe should not impact on other people's lives.
However, religion should not promote any hatred of other people. For instance in the three monotheistic religions (Christianity, Islam, Judaism), there is a strong hatred of Homosexual (Gay) people, in all honesty there is no place for that in a post modern world. That is not to say other religions don't have equally stupid prejudices running through them, allot of Wiccan's (Witches) have a dislike of Christians for no good reason at all.
For me Witchcraft is not a faith, it's not my religeon but my practise. I would compare it to a martial art or a practical skill like mechanics. So when asked do I want witchcraft to be recognised I honestly don't mind at all. I get Samhain (Halloween) off work and that is enough for me.

Well tomorrow I am back at work, feels so long I wonder if I can remember how to manage? We shall see.

Core of the problem 21/09/2010

Well last night I ran the Final Fantasy XIV benchmark test, to be able to get the game running at a good clip I needed a score of about 3000. My computer seems to play games at a semi decent speed so I figured it would not be a problem, I was wrong.

My score was a pathetic 600. Honestly I was shocked, I have a decent graphics card and 3 Gig of ram. The problem was something else, something I had completely forgotten about.

My CPU, this computer is about five years old and I have upgraded the graphics card and the ram but the CPU is the same one it shipped with. A single core, I should have been more mindful of it. The cut scenes in Star Craft II where slow and I had to turn down the quality of them.

So the question now is, how can I upgrade my computer or indeed get a new one. Seeing as the Church mouse has more cash than me!

I'm cheating on my wife with an older women. 18/09/2010

Well today has been frankly run of the mill. A normal shift at work leading into a nice peaceful evening with my wife. Although the chinese was especially good, Golden Sands near where I live is a great chinese, thier lemon chicken is to die for. Well perhaps not die, maybe a touch of mild danger would suffice?

Oh yes, the cheating on my wife thing? Oh i'm currently watching Bleech series 1 and really getting into it. I'm avaraging about five episodes a day, so when I say I am cheating on my wife, it's to watch bleech. The older women is Rukia Kuchiki a charater from the show, she is about oh a hundred and fifty years old. Currently she is my favorate charater.

I like the complexity of her charater and how she struggles to understand humans, i'd go into more but will leave that for another time. Try googling Bleech and Rukia Kuchiki if you are interested.

Anyway I don't really have much else to say this evening, other than I have World of Warcraft Special Edition on Order! Also I am trying to get my hands on Final Fantasy XVI. Also tomorrow is the last day at work before my two week holiday, awsome.

Pyjama plans 16/09/2010

So with a holiday coming up soon I have been considering what to do with it, I do have a few creative plans on the go but I also intend on spending a couple of days doing absolutely nothing.

A day in pyjamas, now that could well be what I need. No stress, no targets just a time of peace and perhaps even meditation if I can quieten myself enough. Thinking about this I was walking to the off licence to grab something to drink. A girl, well woman was waiting outside and she must have had the same idea I had. I make this assumption only because she was dressed in nothing but a very loose, slightly grubby, never touched by heated iron pair of pyjamas.

I'm by no means a prude in any sense of the word, I do however have a sense of self respect. I would never leave the house wearing only pyjamas and slippers, even if I was Megan Fox's twin. This women was certainly not either, that however is not the point. I do not wish to see the silhouetted form of a women that looks like she just dragged herself out of a rubbish bin.

I realize this "look" is not a new one but when did the first girl get up and decide that looking like she had been scraped off a brothel's floor was the look for today? I often try to wear things that are strange, a tie with no shirt, pagan jewelry and will soon be painting on my shirts. However, my clothing is always clean, ironed and at least hides the less appealing aspects of my form.

Besides this today has been an OK day, didn't get much done at all. Over my two weeks off I hope to get my web comic off the ground.

Oh on a side note, I don't find Megan Fox attractive at all. I'm a Jennifer Love Hewitt kind of man.

New writing position 10/09/2010

Today has been a quiet day, a standard shift really. It should be noted I do enjoy my job, honestly I didn't anticipate that when I first got it. I suspect that is down to the people I work with.

I won't bore you with a tale of shift management.

In other news I have been offered a position to write video game reviews for Twenteen the zeen for inbetween's. This zeen, both electronic and printed is an exciting new publication with an incredible scope for potential and I am excited to be part of it.

I fully intend to attend gaming premiers and midnight openings, one on the horizon is The World of Warcraft expansion Cataclysm. As an avid gamer the prospect of writing about something I love is bliss. I'll have to pitch my tent in London's Oxford street and take my phone to record any interviews I manage to get.

My quote of the day is this; picture the scene.
you walk into the Office to see your boss sitting on the desk dressed from top to toe in black, looking much like Death's bank manager. His trousers, shirt even his tie have no detail at all just a clean sharp black. I catch the latter half of what he is saying.
"you don't want an early grave, graves really are six feet deep too, my arms aren't that long so I'd be clambering at the mud to get out."

Alright it's not a direct quote, a touch of ad lib there. But it was the most surreal thing to walk in on this year!

Twenteen's link, check it out. No really, do it now
Twenteen the zeen for inbetweens

Burning of books, hysteria and calm.

So, the news has been dominated by the announcement of an American Pastor Terry Jones that 09/09/2010 would be "national burn a Koran day". I can only deduce that this is an attempt to sensationalize his own church ( of which there are about fifty members) and in doing so gain a bigger following.

I could be wrong but I thought it was spelt Quaran, as that is closer to Arabic. Feel free to comment and correct me if I am off target on that one, I truly would like to know.

I think the point that stuck for me about this whole issue is that its one small man with a small congregation, with this in mind how then is it possible that this whole issue has gone Global? I can only think that we live in a world that takes offence at every small thing a person says or threatens to do. Let's be clear about this though, I do not condone or think that burning a holy book is an acceptable act, I don't think any book should be burned.

The problem is that by reacting to this with outcry, shock, and Global disgust is exactly what Pastor Tony Jones wants, we get him publicity and his actions are then given power. This man's objective is to spread hate, in this I am convinced. It matters not which direction the hatred travels, whether from non Muslims to Muslims or from Muslims to non Muslims.

I myself have been on the receiving end of hatred or rather fear due to my being a Witch and where as most Wiccans (Witches) believe that you should do no harm, this includes to yourself. I do believe in defending myself and would. I do have a sharp sarcastic tongue, ask some of my work colleagues.

So where am I going with this? Well, I really think that perhaps ten years ago this Pastor would have received no media attention at all. The world has become information, in an age that anyone can pick up keyboard and receive thousands of views online, who can we trust to decide what and who gets seen and read?
There is only one answer, a tricky, hard and not a nice easy one. We as a Global entity, we as humans on this world. It is up to us to read as much as we can, to listen to all that have things to say and make our own minds up.
The key here is to think, to take in as much knowledge as possible and formulate our own opinion. And there is the hard part, then we have to accept that other people will have different ideas and opinions, so then we must respect their right to think.

We must never oppress or try to control a person's will to think and learn, be that through a religion, political state or social position.
Also, and this is important, learn to spot the people who want only to spread hate. There is only one way to defeat them, do not give their hate power. Do not act against them with hate, moreover, pity them.
After all, their lives must be full of fear and sadness.

Rock stupid. 06/09/2010

Today's blog is brought to you by the letter S for stupid and the number 6, a low IQ.
I won't use the whole blog to bitch, I doubt that would be interesting.

However, I finally relented and accepted the fact that some people are rock stupid. Truly, the sheer lack of innovation, intuitive and general common sense is staggering. I hate to give up on a person, I have always felt that everyone has the potential to shine at a given activity, but this person is without doubt missing a whole toolbox of equipment.

I'm hardly the most sane person alive but this is the first time I have wanted to slam my face into the office desk until the world goes a gooey red colour. Goddess willing I won't have this person on my shifts anymore.

On the up side I had a great idea for a poem that incorporates paint and drawing styles, I'll start work on it on Thursday and really get lost in it's creation. I may even Vlog its creation, it's been too long since I edited a video.

So its goodnight from me and remember, as Holly once said "An IQ of six? That's a poor IQ for a glass of water."

A touch more clarity 03/09/2010

Well a couple of people have asked just who is Morrigan. Well I thought I would address this. First up, I'm a Witch.
No I don't own a broom or a black pointed hat, I do have a cat but he is black and white so not quite right.
So what the hell is a Witch? I follow the seasons and try to be as in tune with nature as possible, living in a city makes this a challenge but I get by. I live to a very strict moral code and make a point to not harm others through action or thought.

Do I cast spells? Well yes, but I won't go into that just yet. Another time perhaps.
As for Morrigan, she is a focus. A personification of nature and a place I draw motivation from. Like self affirmation, faith or even self help.
As for Morrigan as a Goddess, she is a Celtic deity with ancient roots. I'll post some info about her when I have a touch more time.

It should be noted I don't think I can fly, make people fall in love with me. Or even curse people or make animals die with a flick of my wrist. That's all Hollywood and silliness.

As for today, it's been another challenge. People did not respond today, I lost my temper three times. That's more times in one day than I can remember. How hard can it be to put stickers on things?
It's not, no really, it's simple.
Let's hope tomorrow is better eh?

No time for thoughts, busy busy 20/09/2010

Today was a frustrating one, work just didn't seem to gel. We were busy mind you and it seems some are not as committed as others, that however is another story.
Was thinking about dying my hair today, not sure why. Perhaps a line of black, or the tip a bright red. It's not something I have considered before. Any ideas feel free to comment them to me!
A dead day for the creation of poetry, only one sprang up out of the addled madness that is my mind. The poem is a rewrite of one I had done for my Degree, A touch of pacing a few cuts and I am happy with it.
I'll be getting up at six tomorrow morning so I shall bid you all goodnight, poem to follow.

Four Seasons
I'm gripped by the event that unfolds
A chance to preform for a captured croud
Snipping shocks twitch my system
Shaking my words
Perceaved nervousness
But this is my art and I splash you with paint
You give it meaning my spring lovers
Warm and heady I'm in it now
Animal fuzz wreathes me
Heart Still pounding
Better than sex
I'm in your mind
Take it in
This narcotic lyrical shot
This moment you are my summer
Groups getting colder
It can't be maintained
Is that guy getting bored?
The leaves of your faces are turning brown
Birds mocking birds
I'll be mocked in Autumn
Damn its cold in here
The snow of your bordom chills me
I've gone on too long
Her poem was better than mine
Fucking call myself a poet
My amateur lines arne't convincing these masters
Your winter robbed me
Maybe next summer.

A quiet day, thinking about art. 02/09/2010

Today has been a relaxing experience, spent in the company of my wife. I can honestly say there are few things I enjoy as much. Perhaps it's because I am in essence a simple person, by that I mean the things that give me peace are simple ones.
The things that torment me though, those are many and complex. Let's leave them for another time eh? A short time by the Thames river with a thermos of hot chocolate and rolls was by far the highlight of the day. I realize that to most that might seem a touch pedestrian or boring, but these things have always been high on my peace list.
I did have to go into work though, apparently one of the keys has broken or been lost. This turned out to be a good excuse to leave the house and have some time in the night.
While in Tesco I had a peek at all the dark fantasy books for sale, Twilight etc. I really think I could write this kind of fiction without much of a problem. Something prevents me from doing so, my wife thinks it's because I get distracted by other things. Gaming.
She maybe right.
I'm thinking about painting again, thinking. Always thinking and not acting, been this way as long as I can remember.
See this is the thing, my muse is a tormenting cow, she demands I work for an audience. Even if none exists. She also taunts me, a lot. I'll include a mixed media piece I did and committed to video.
Anyway back to my muse, I'm getting very suspicious about her. I have a feeling she is Morrigan The goddess I path work with. If this is the case, things are hard for a reason. Morrigan demands action and swift defining decisions.
Anyway, I have decided that I should commune with Morrigan and see if she will come to me in my dreams, perhaps She can break the block on creation I have.

Blog is live!

Well while I teach myself web design, I desided that starting a blog would be a good idea. Just a place where I can let my poetry and thoughts grow really.

So to break things in let's start with a poem, shall we? 

I have a mild fasination with Japan and it's culture, this poem was conceaved while looking at Geisha and Maiko pictures.

Maiko

Serpents stretched in mercury creeping

Midnight wraps a formless art

Bronze white folds tied at the back declaring chastity

Fleeting nods of bobbing meaning

Soulful orbs hidden then revealed by sweeping movement

Every elegant paced step a story revealed.

Shimmering black crowns a ghostly pale visage born for candles

Apple lips parted in only whispered service

Han'gyoku Maiko dancing teasing tradition

Seducing rejection of tradions wanton advance

Kyoto demure mesured daughter Maiko

Traditions favored child.

Feel free to comment, critique or even just take the piss.